Monday, September 12, through Friday, September 23: The Sisterly Road Trip

After Wendy's early morning arrival, Becky and Wendy caught a few more hours of rest.  Then, the road trip began.  The first stop was Monument Valley.

Becky brought her 1/3rd of Richard's ashes on this road trip.  Daughter Donna and son Rick will each get their 1/3rd.  It was Richard's wish for his ashes to be scattered in special places.  He was on the road trip with Becky and Wendy and special places were found --- like Monument Valley.

After a one-night stay in Kayenta, the two sisters visited Four Corners --- on their way to Durango, Colorado.

Signs indicated at Four Corners that it was not allowed to place ashes on this sacred property.  So, Richard remained in the truck for that stop.

The second stop that day was Mesa Verde National Park.  Richard is permanently there now :-)

Our final destination was Durango.  We stayed at a motel rated by Trip Advisor as #2.  Becky and Wendy have never stayed at a Knights Inn.

Wednesday morning, Wendy and Becky walked from the motel to the Durango & Silverton train station.  It was a beautiful walk along the Rio Grande.  We event saw one of the morning trains going up to Silverton.  We'll be on one of those tomorrow!

A British couple walked up to Wendy and Becky and told them about the Wildlife Museum.  It was open only two more days --- as it closes for the season.  The couple thought it was marvelous.  So, Wendy and Becky checked it out!  It was next to the Durango Fish Hatchery.  And, we met volunteer Wildlife Museum docent, Clark.  He was quite a character!

And the museum was very well done!

That night, we had wine and appetizers for dinner at the Derailed Pour House in old town Durango.

Thursday, was the much anticipated train ride on the Durango & Silverton train.  Becky had bought two first class tickets on the train in April.  This was the last car on the train --- with limited guests, complimentary beverages, and a full bar.  Becky and Wendy were pampered royally!

The 50+ mile ride was so beautiful.  Along the Rio Grande River, through many San Juan National Forest trees and gorges.  Becky had brought Richard's ashes.  He was deposited in special places along the way.

Lunch was at the Handlebars Restaurant in Silverton.  It was a gorgeous day in that cute town.  Wendy and Becky walked through the town and caught a Durango & Silverton bus back to Durango.  It was recommended to only take the train one way.  The train takes 3 1/2 hours and the bus only takes 1 1/2 hours.

That night, Wendy and Becky had a lovely dinner at Ken and Sue's in old town.  Becky's mussels were delicious!

Friday was a travel day to Alamosa, Colorado.  The drive went right through Pagosa Springs.  So, Becky and Wendy spent an hour at one of the spas --- the oldest --- Healing Waters Spa.  The water temperature was delightful!  They started outside,

And ended up inside!

Saturday, was the trek to Great Sand Dunes National Park.  It was less than 40 miles outside Alamosa.  Becky brought her National Parks Passport book.  She needed National Park stamp #43!  And, of course, Richard was left there  --- both by the sign and on the dunes.

Sunday was a travel day to Santa Fe.  Becky and Wendy drove through some scenic mountains.  And, they came across another scenic train, the Cumbres & Toltec Train.

Wendy had visited Santa Fe in April.  That was her first time.  The last time Becky had been to Santa Fe was 2009.  She had visited it several times before.  They stayed at a nicely located motel on Cerrillos Road --- Santa Fe Motel and Inn.  It was a short walk from there to the plaza.

Lunch was at the Thunderbird Bar & Grill.  Then, a walk around the plaza.  Wendy suggested that they go to the Loretto Chapel.  There, candles were lit for Richard and for a dear friend, Bev Nickerson, who has cancer.

One of Becky's Los Angeles friends retired last year and moved to Santa Fe.  Becky and Wendy visited Claudette DuBois and her charming Santa Fe home.  They later went to dinner at Del Charro Saloon and Restaurant, a local favorite!

Monday morning, Becky and Wendy walked from their motel to Canyon Road --- where all the art galleries adorn the street.  Wendy had bought a neat painting at one gallery in April --- Contemporary Gallery.  Becky was eying a painting by the same artist.  No way!

Another former LA friend of Becky's --- Gloria Gordon --- moved to Santa Fe eleven years ago.  Becky and Wendy had a lovely lunch with Gloria and her husband, David King, at the courtyard restaurant, La Casa Sena.

A real treat later in the day, was a reunion with Jeff and MJ Rankin.  Jeff and MJ are very high level executive recruiters.  They moved to Santa Fe years ago --- from Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.  MJ represented Becky in an executive search in Santa Barbara 25+ years ago.  Jeff and MJ live on a majestic, gated estate.

Jeff hosted Becky and Wendy at his favorite table at Osteria, a great Italian restaurant!  What a fun time!

Tuesday morning, Becky and Wendy had the usual breakfast in the motel's courtyard.  Then, they walked to see the New Mexico's State Capitol, the "Roundhouse."  Richard was left in the beautiful rotunda, by a lovely planted tree.

Wendy wanted to buy new wind chimes for her home.  The motel general manager recommended a nearby shop.  On the way, Becky and Wendy came across a neat organic street market --- and Wendy bought a wind chime at the shop.

Wendy arranged 90 minute massages for her and Becky at a spa called Absolute Nirvana.  Wendy found this spa when she was in Santa Fe five months ago.  Both massage ladies were excellent!

Dinner the last night in Santa Fe was Happy Hour at Terra Cotta Wine Bistro. Nice!

Wednesday, September 21, was check-out day at the Santa Fe Motel and Inn.  It was a pleasure staying there.

It was going to be a short trip to Albuquerque, so Becky and Wendy filled up the day with a visit to Los Alamos and the Bradbury Science Museum.  Both had never been there!  Can you say "the Manhattan Project"!?!?

Both Gloria Gordon and Jeff Rankin shared with Becky and Wendy the exciting new art exhibit in Santa Fe, Meow Wolf.  So, it was something they wanted to see.  So, a detour and 1 1/2 hours, was a fun time at Meow Wolf. It is an interactive, funky "Alice in Wonderland" exhibit in a former bowling alley.

The two sisters enjoyed it!

Becky and Wendy arrived at the Sandia Peak Inn at about 3:00pm.  The parking lot of the motel was set up for a movie filming!  It was challenging finding a place to park Becky's big truck.  Because of the late night filming, the motel manager upgraded Becky and Wendy to a suite --- farthest away from the shoot.

Dinner was in downtown Albuquerque at a restaurant inside the Hotel Andaluz, MAS Tapas.  Amazing, Becky and Wendy had tapas!

Thursday, Becky and Wendy checked out of the motel and drove to the Sandia Peak Tramway.  This was always on Becky's bucket list.  They arrived early, and were in the second tram, Flight #02.  The tram heads up to Sandia Peak, at 10,378 feet.

Richard also road up to Sandia Peak in Becky's purse.  And, he now is there forever.

Becky has been thinking about subsequent road trips with the dogs, in the large 5th wheel.  She is starting to think that maybe it would be easier if the 5th wheel were exchanged for a smaller trailer.  So, as Becky and Wendy were leaving Albuquerque, they stopped at an RV dealership, La Mesa RV.  They met with salesman Basil and walked through a number of smaller 5th wheels and 28-29 foot trailers.

It was an interesting visit to contemplate a new RV direction.

Becky and Wendy arrived in Gallup, New Mexico, in the early afternoon.  They checked into the Sleep Inn Motel and went to a local market to secure items for a picnic dinner in their room.

Friday is the last day of this road trip.  In Holbrook, Becky took the exit for Petrified Forest National Park.  It was not on the original itinerary, but so easy to take this 23 mile detour.  And, another place for Richard to be placed!

You can't go past Winslow, Arizona, without stopping "on the corner" and visiting the historic La Posada Hotel.

Ramsey, Libby, and Kelsey spent the past twelve nights at Cinder Hills Kennel in Flagstaff.  They were picked up at 1PM.  They had a great stay, as always!

While in Flagstaff, various errands were made, including dropping off Richard's photo at FedEx to create a poster for the October 29's Celebration of Life in Los Angeles.  And, Becky and Wendy stopped by Oregano's for the favorite Pablo Picasso salad.  The "vacation hold" mail was picked up at the Williams Post Office.  The dogs were happy to be home and the salad was delicious!

Wednesday, August 31, through Monday, September 12: The There After...

Rick caught an earlier flight on Wednesday to return to Austin and be with his family.  It was great having him here those 2 1/2 days!

Wendy, Carrie, and Becky visited the local wild animal park, Bearizona, Becky has an annual pass.

Becky's brothers, Peter and John, and her sister Kim, drove from San Gabriel, California to Williams. They arrived at about 3:00pm.

Carrie suggested that we have our mom's Mexican Casserole for dinner.  All six Shelton children were together.  The casserole was delicious!

Becky has a number of boxes filled with photo albums from her parent's home in Pasadena.  It was fun going through a number of them and reminiscing about the Shelton childhood.

The next morning, a photo was taken of all six of the Shelton siblings, and of course, a Dalmatian or two!

Wendy and Carrie headed back to Southern California.  Now, it was time for Peter, John, and Kim to visit Bearizona.

After Bearizona, Peter, John, and Kim headed back to Los Angeles.  That day, Becky received a number of condolence flower arrangements.  Lovely!

Things work quickly in a more rural area.  Richard's ashes were ready on the Friday --- three days after his death.  Becky picked up the container of ashes in Flagstaff and placed them on the mantle in the home.  It came in a firm brown box.  Becky will be dividing the ashes into thirds --- one for her, one for Donna, and one for Rick.

Labor Day was a day of organizing the 2015 income taxes for Denver CPA, Kent Bachman.  Fortunately, Richard had the 2014 income tax cover memo in the computer.  Becky merely updated the income tax transmittal memo for the year before.  The memo and tax back-up documents were sent by UPS the next day.  Richard would have been proud of Becky!

Richard's son, Rick, sent an email.  He wondered if his dad's Zippo lighter trophy --- signifying the end of Richard's cigarette smoking in 1982.  Yes, it was in the reading room.  Becky packaged it up and sent it to Rick.

Becky recognizes that she needs to take care of herself.  So, she had a 90 minute massage in Williams by Natanya of God's Healing Hands.  Great massage!

Conn Pest Control came to the home.  There is some kind of scat by the front door.  Becky's sister Carrie thought it was mice.  The pest control man said no.  It was caused by bats.  Yuck! Bats are protected and can not be trapped or poisoned.  It was determined that possibly the water heater overflow was the day home of the bat. 



Becky went to the local hardware store and purchased some screen.  That night, after dark, she folded a piece of the screen and placed it up in the overflow.  Hopefully, it will work!

Another "be nice to Becky" was a facial by Sue Kelly in Flagstaff.  She hadn't seen Sue for several months.

On Friday, September 9, Becky picked up Richard's death certificates (fast by LA experience!), set the Celebration of Life event at San Gabriel Country Club for October 29, and wrote the LA Times obituary.  The obituary was published in the Sunday paper.

Over a month, Becky had been meaning to drain the outdoor spa and replace the water.  That task was completed on Saturday.  Unfortunately, two jet covers had separated from the jets and were lying on the bottom of the spa.  Becky immediately phone Jeff at Summit Spas in Flagstaff.  He is always so helpful.  Parts were ordered.

After the spa caper, Becky drove Ramsey, Kelsey, and Libby to the Cinder Hills Pet Resort for their 12-night stay.

Joe and Stephanie Hap met Becky at the Red Raven restaurant for lunch.  Joe and Stephanie live in Prescott --- only 60 miles away.  It was nice seeing them.  What a beautiful plant they gave Becky.  They wanted it to be cheerful.  It was!

Roy Henderson texted Becky.  Roy and his wife Mel live in Anthem, Arizona --- near Phoenix.  As an Executive Vice President for Union Bank, Becky worked for Vice Chairman Roy in the mid 1990s.  The two of them had a nice visit and lunch.

Becky's sister Wendy was ready to start their road trip to Colorado and New Mexico.  She hopped on the Southwest Chief Amtrak train in Los Angeles that night and arrived at Williams early the next morning.  Becky was there to greet her at the Grand Canyon Railway Hotel.

 

Thursday, August 18, through Tuesday, August 30: Life Changing

On Thursday, Richard had his standing appointment with Natanya, the local massage therapist and owner of God's Healing Hands.  Natanya was told about the melanoma cancer spreading. Early Saturday moring, Becky headed to Santa Ana for a one-night stay-over.  Her oldest cousin, Bill Boggs, had had a massive heart attack in early June.  He did not make it.  Bill's brother, Steve, and his wife Kathy, hosted a party to celebrate Bill's life.  He was several days shy of 69 when he died.

Monday morning, Richard said that the discomfort with the liquid in his lungs was unbearable.  He could not wait for his appointment the next day.  So, Becky packed up the dogs and drove him to Flagstaff Medical Center Emergency Department.  The good news.  The waiting room was empty. They nurse evaluated him and he was immediately placed in an Emergency Department bed.

Becky had the dogs in the truck.  She found a tree-shaded street near the hospital, but knew a walk with them was in order.

The procedure was done --- draining Richard's left lung --- almost two quarts!  It was determined that Richard had a case of pneumonia.  Richard's oxygen levels were not improving.  So, the Emergency Department doctor arranged to have All-Med Equipment & Service bring to the hospital a portable Oxygen tank and an Oxygen Concentrator. Becky was given usage and care instructions, and Richard was released at about 3PM.

The evening routine was back in play --- watching Fox News and having dinner.  Richard was connected the whole time to the Oxygen Concentrator.

The next morning, Richard still was not feeling well.  A new complaint was a heaviness in his heart. Since Becky and Richard drove to the Flagstaff Medical Center Emergency Department yesterday, It was decided to call 911.  The Williams policeman arrived first.  Then, shortly after, the Life Line ambulance and paramedics.  They wired Richard up and ran some tests.  Then, he was whisked off in the ambulance to Flagstaff.

The female paramedic said to Becky that she did not need to hurry --- as the Emergency Department was going to take several hours to initially process Richard.

In the Emergency Department, more additional tests were performed.  With the pneumonia diagnosis from yesterday, Richard had a very nice private room.  It turned out that one of the nurses is renting a place near our Elephant Rocks Golf Course.  Becky walks the dogs near her home every week.  Small world!

It was decided to admit Richard into the hospital.  With the dogs unattended, Becky left Richard to head back to Williams.

The next morning, Becky arrived at the hospital at about 10:30am.  The nurses told Becky that earlier in the morning, Richard had been alert and talkative --- ordering his breakfast and lunch, asking for coffee and a paper.  Since Becky had arrived, Richard had no words.  Becky told the nurses that she had learned her lesson.  Richard was perky in the morning, but when she arrived, he was not.  At that moment, Richard stuck his tong out at her.  The room was exploded with laughter!

Richard had ordered a favorite for lunch --- spaghetti! While he got a lot of it on the napkin under his chin, Richard was able to enjoy the meal.

The doctor, Dr. Trubey, came into Richard's room about 1pm.  She told Becky and Richard that an MRI indicated that Richard's melanoma had spread to his brain.  She explained that nothing could be done to eliminate the cancer in the brain, but that radiation could reduce the size of the lesions/tumors and perhaps help regain Richard's cognitive abilities.  A ten-day treatment of radiation was ordered, beginning that afternoon.  So, Richard was once again, under the care of Dr. Andrew David --- the oncology radiologist.  Dr. David had performed radiation treatment on Richard in 2013 --- for his prostate cancer.  He also performed radiation treatment on Richard's scalp after the first melanoma surgery last year.

Becky decided that it was time to board the dogs at the Grand Canyon Railway Kennel. After the first day of boarding, she said "why am I boarding the dogs when I have a perfectly set-up home!"  But, she knew that Ramsey was an instigator in the home.  The two girls, Kelsey and Libby, were perfectly happy just sleeping and freely using the doggy door in the laundry room.  But, Ramsey would rebel and start dragging the dog crates all over the living room.  Problem solved.  Becky would only board Ramsey.  So, each morning, she would walk all three dogs and then drop Ramsey off at the kennel.

With the melanoma cancer in Richard's brain, the Palliative Care staff came to Richard's room to talk to Becky and Richard.  Becky had never heard of palliative care.  It began in 2006.  Palliative care is an approach that helps patients and families deal with life-threatening illnesses.  Doctors and nurses have a role to do whatever they can to care and cure patients.  Palliative care has a role to provide patients relief from pain and integrates the psychological and spiritual aspects of care.  That night, Becky created a poster board with four 8x10 photos --- a February photo of Becky and Richard, a photo of the three dogs, a photo of the four Bernsteins, and a photo of the four Texas Ebberts.

Richard had his second radiation treatment Friday morning.  The oncology radiation department only works Monday through Friday.  So, Richard's next appointment was scheduled for Monday.

Donna and Meghan arrived around noon.  They flew in from Park City.  Richard actually responded to seeing granddaughter Meghan.  He smiled and said "hi."  He had not seen her since 4th of July weekend last year.  This was the first time Becky had seen him responsive in three days.  Becky, Donna, and Meghan stayed in the hospital room with Richard until about 3pm.

Donna and Meghan decided that they wanted to be more interactive with Richard on Saturday. Donna asked Becky what magazine was Richard's favorite.  She said National Inquirer.  Meghan knew that Richard loved The Princess Bride.  She pulled up the book on Donna's iPad.  So, on Saturday, Donna read excerpts of the most recent National Inquirer to her dad.  He fell asleep.  Later that morning, Meghan starting a dramatic reading of The Princess Bride.  Richard's eyes were open, he faced Meghan, and listened.  It was amazing how Richard responded to Meghan!

Early afternoon, the Palliative Care staff arrived.  They told Becky, Donna, and Meghan that Richard was failing fast.  He was no longer able to chew or swallow food.  Richard's son Rick was going to fly out from Austin on Thursday.  Donna asked if her brother should come quicker.  The Palliative staff said yes, he should come as soon as possible.  Donna stepped out of the room, and called Rick. Becky decided she needed to call Richard's brother, Bob.  Fortunately, Donna still had Bob's home phone number in her phone.  Richard's cell phone was left in Williams.  It had all of Bob's contact numbers.  Becky called Bob's home and initially spoke to Elise. Then Bob.  With the Palliative Care staff, Becky, Donna, and Meghan cried with the news.  But, at the same time, they were relieved. Finally someone in the hospital was giving them the real scoop.  They thanked the Palliative Care staff.

Becky, Donna, and Meghan had lunch at one of Richard's favorite Flagstaff restaurants, Oregano's. The portions are humongous. Leftovers here we come.

Sunday was another day in the hospital. Donna's husband, David, had flown in Saturday night.  He had attended a convention in Long Beach, and had lunch with daughter Emily in Orange.  David rented a one-way car from Phoenix to Flagstaff regional airport.  Donna and Meghan met David at the Flagstaff airport.  They had dinner in Flagstaff.

Richard remained unresponsive.  He slept.  But, he was having some convulsions or seizures.  The medical staff put him on an IV drip to reduce the twitching.  It was explained that the brain cancer lesions often burst and cause this to happen.  They also said that Richard would not be able to receive further radiation treatment while he was having these seizures.

Donna, David, and Meghan left Flagstaff at about 4pm.  They had a 9pm flight in Phoenix to return to Salt Lake City.

Ramsey was dropped off at the kennel Monday morning at 8am.  Rick arrived at the Flagstaff Medical Center around 9:30am.  He took a 6:15am flight from Austin to Phoenix.  He was visibly shaken.  Rick had seen his dad just three weeks ago --- at a Walters Family Reunion in Park City. While his dad was not feeling great, at least he was talkative, responsive, and fun to be around.  Later, the Palliative Care staff came for a visit.  It was recommended that Richard be released into hospice care as soon as possible.  It was agreed.  The Palliative Care staff began making inquiries as to where there was a male bed in an appropriate facility.  All male beds were filled in Flagstaff.  There is a large Navajo population in the area, Navajo belief is if someone dies in a hogan/home, there are bad spirits.  And the hogan/home needs to be burned down.  A bed was secured in a hospice in Prescott -- 90 minutes from Flagstaff and 60 minutes from our home in Williams.  Arrangements were made to ambulance Richard there the next morning.

Five days in the hospital, and no solid food for two days, Richard was frail, unresponsive, and a shell of his former self.  People say that hearing is the last sense to turn off when in Richard's state.  So, Rick and I continued to talk to Richard.  Richard's brother, Bob, flew into Flagstaff Regional Airport about 1pm.  Becky picked him up at the airport.  Logistically, Bob had a return flight at 4pm.  That was the last flight from Flagstaff to Phoenix that would get Bob back to Los Angeles by the end of the day.

Bob and Rick had some "man time" with Richard.  It was so great.

Rick took his uncle Bob back to Flagstaff Regional Airport around 3:30pm, and Rick returned to his dad's hospital room.

Pat and Bill Wheeler called me earlier in the day.  They wanted to say goodbye to Richard. They hopped in their car at their Escapees home in Aguanda, California, and drove to Flagstaff.  Pat and Bill arrived to the Flagstaff Medical Center around 5pm.

Becky's sisters, Wendy and Carrie, drove from Coto de Caza, California, to Becky's home in Williams.  They arrived around 3pm.  Both wanted to see Richard.  So, the three hopped in Becky's truck.  They arrived at the hospital. Becky and her three sisters were greeted by Pat and Bill.

Pat and Bill stayed another 30 minutes.  Rick, Becky, Wendy, and Carrie remained in Richard's room. With the transfer of Richard in the morning, all of the monitors and IVs were removed from his body. He was only on morphine --- for his care and comfort.  After about an hour, it was time to say good night to Richard --- see you in the morning.  Becky, Wendy, and Carrie were walking back to Becky's car.  Carrie said that we needed to return to Richard's room.  The three of us knew that we had to go back and tell Richard that it is OK if he needs to leave us.  Rick was called and he joined us.  So, we entered Richard's room.  Hello!  The four of us talked to Richard.  Becky started.  In their own words. each said that he was loved, that he will be missed, but that they would be OK.  We gave Richard permission to leave, or not.

The four of us said goodbye, rather than good night.  When Becky was speaking to Richard, his right hand started to twitch.  It was like he was signaling his understanding of what she was saying.

Becky, Rick, Wendy, and Carrie left Richard's room around 7pm.  That night at Becky's home in Williams, Carrie shared something Richard told her.  Becky's dad was bedridden for several years before he died.  One time when Becky and Richard were visiting, Carrie noticed that Richard remained in the living room. Carrie asked why Richard wasn't in Bill's room. Richard said that he wanted to remember Becky's dad the way he was for so many years.  He told Carrie that if he were ever in that condition --- like Becky's dad --- to just put a bag over his head and a pillow.

Becky's cell phone rang at 4am Tuesday morning.  Rick was already at the bedroom door. The nurse told Becky that Richard died at 3:45am.

Becky, Carrie, Wendy and Rick got up and ready to go to the hospital.  Rick headed out first in his rental car.  You know it take girls longer!

Richard's hospital door had a special sign.

The face of death changes the look of everyone.  Becky remembered when her father died in November, 2014.  Richard look different.  All of the facial lines were gone.  He looked almost waxy.

The nurse gave Becky a piece of paper listing all the Mortuaries.  Richard had wanted to be cremated. So, Becky started dialing for dollars.  It was only 5:00am.

A local mortuary was selected.  The gentleman was so quick. Carrie and Rick went back to Williams to care for the dogs.  Wendy and Becky ran some errands and returned to the Norvel Owens Mortuary at 8:00am --- when the office opened.  Arrangements were made.

The mortician said that Richard's ashes would be available by Friday.  The death certificates would take longer.

That night, Bill and Pat Wheeler joined Becky, Wendy, Carrie, and Rick for a dinner at The Red Raven restaurant.