On Thursday, Richard had his standing appointment with Natanya, the local massage therapist and owner of God's Healing Hands. Natanya was told about the melanoma cancer spreading. Early Saturday moring, Becky headed to Santa Ana for a one-night stay-over. Her oldest cousin, Bill Boggs, had had a massive heart attack in early June. He did not make it. Bill's brother, Steve, and his wife Kathy, hosted a party to celebrate Bill's life. He was several days shy of 69 when he died.
Monday morning, Richard said that the discomfort with the liquid in his lungs was unbearable. He could not wait for his appointment the next day. So, Becky packed up the dogs and drove him to Flagstaff Medical Center Emergency Department. The good news. The waiting room was empty. They nurse evaluated him and he was immediately placed in an Emergency Department bed.
Becky had the dogs in the truck. She found a tree-shaded street near the hospital, but knew a walk with them was in order.
The procedure was done --- draining Richard's left lung --- almost two quarts! It was determined that Richard had a case of pneumonia. Richard's oxygen levels were not improving. So, the Emergency Department doctor arranged to have All-Med Equipment & Service bring to the hospital a portable Oxygen tank and an Oxygen Concentrator. Becky was given usage and care instructions, and Richard was released at about 3PM.
The evening routine was back in play --- watching Fox News and having dinner. Richard was connected the whole time to the Oxygen Concentrator.
The next morning, Richard still was not feeling well. A new complaint was a heaviness in his heart. Since Becky and Richard drove to the Flagstaff Medical Center Emergency Department yesterday, It was decided to call 911. The Williams policeman arrived first. Then, shortly after, the Life Line ambulance and paramedics. They wired Richard up and ran some tests. Then, he was whisked off in the ambulance to Flagstaff.
The female paramedic said to Becky that she did not need to hurry --- as the Emergency Department was going to take several hours to initially process Richard.
In the Emergency Department, more additional tests were performed. With the pneumonia diagnosis from yesterday, Richard had a very nice private room. It turned out that one of the nurses is renting a place near our Elephant Rocks Golf Course. Becky walks the dogs near her home every week. Small world!
It was decided to admit Richard into the hospital. With the dogs unattended, Becky left Richard to head back to Williams.
The next morning, Becky arrived at the hospital at about 10:30am. The nurses told Becky that earlier in the morning, Richard had been alert and talkative --- ordering his breakfast and lunch, asking for coffee and a paper. Since Becky had arrived, Richard had no words. Becky told the nurses that she had learned her lesson. Richard was perky in the morning, but when she arrived, he was not. At that moment, Richard stuck his tong out at her. The room was exploded with laughter!
Richard had ordered a favorite for lunch --- spaghetti! While he got a lot of it on the napkin under his chin, Richard was able to enjoy the meal.
The doctor, Dr. Trubey, came into Richard's room about 1pm. She told Becky and Richard that an MRI indicated that Richard's melanoma had spread to his brain. She explained that nothing could be done to eliminate the cancer in the brain, but that radiation could reduce the size of the lesions/tumors and perhaps help regain Richard's cognitive abilities. A ten-day treatment of radiation was ordered, beginning that afternoon. So, Richard was once again, under the care of Dr. Andrew David --- the oncology radiologist. Dr. David had performed radiation treatment on Richard in 2013 --- for his prostate cancer. He also performed radiation treatment on Richard's scalp after the first melanoma surgery last year.
Becky decided that it was time to board the dogs at the Grand Canyon Railway Kennel. After the first day of boarding, she said "why am I boarding the dogs when I have a perfectly set-up home!" But, she knew that Ramsey was an instigator in the home. The two girls, Kelsey and Libby, were perfectly happy just sleeping and freely using the doggy door in the laundry room. But, Ramsey would rebel and start dragging the dog crates all over the living room. Problem solved. Becky would only board Ramsey. So, each morning, she would walk all three dogs and then drop Ramsey off at the kennel.
With the melanoma cancer in Richard's brain, the Palliative Care staff came to Richard's room to talk to Becky and Richard. Becky had never heard of palliative care. It began in 2006. Palliative care is an approach that helps patients and families deal with life-threatening illnesses. Doctors and nurses have a role to do whatever they can to care and cure patients. Palliative care has a role to provide patients relief from pain and integrates the psychological and spiritual aspects of care. That night, Becky created a poster board with four 8x10 photos --- a February photo of Becky and Richard, a photo of the three dogs, a photo of the four Bernsteins, and a photo of the four Texas Ebberts.
Richard had his second radiation treatment Friday morning. The oncology radiation department only works Monday through Friday. So, Richard's next appointment was scheduled for Monday.
Donna and Meghan arrived around noon. They flew in from Park City. Richard actually responded to seeing granddaughter Meghan. He smiled and said "hi." He had not seen her since 4th of July weekend last year. This was the first time Becky had seen him responsive in three days. Becky, Donna, and Meghan stayed in the hospital room with Richard until about 3pm.
Donna and Meghan decided that they wanted to be more interactive with Richard on Saturday. Donna asked Becky what magazine was Richard's favorite. She said National Inquirer. Meghan knew that Richard loved The Princess Bride. She pulled up the book on Donna's iPad. So, on Saturday, Donna read excerpts of the most recent National Inquirer to her dad. He fell asleep. Later that morning, Meghan starting a dramatic reading of The Princess Bride. Richard's eyes were open, he faced Meghan, and listened. It was amazing how Richard responded to Meghan!
Early afternoon, the Palliative Care staff arrived. They told Becky, Donna, and Meghan that Richard was failing fast. He was no longer able to chew or swallow food. Richard's son Rick was going to fly out from Austin on Thursday. Donna asked if her brother should come quicker. The Palliative staff said yes, he should come as soon as possible. Donna stepped out of the room, and called Rick. Becky decided she needed to call Richard's brother, Bob. Fortunately, Donna still had Bob's home phone number in her phone. Richard's cell phone was left in Williams. It had all of Bob's contact numbers. Becky called Bob's home and initially spoke to Elise. Then Bob. With the Palliative Care staff, Becky, Donna, and Meghan cried with the news. But, at the same time, they were relieved. Finally someone in the hospital was giving them the real scoop. They thanked the Palliative Care staff.
Becky, Donna, and Meghan had lunch at one of Richard's favorite Flagstaff restaurants, Oregano's. The portions are humongous. Leftovers here we come.
Sunday was another day in the hospital. Donna's husband, David, had flown in Saturday night. He had attended a convention in Long Beach, and had lunch with daughter Emily in Orange. David rented a one-way car from Phoenix to Flagstaff regional airport. Donna and Meghan met David at the Flagstaff airport. They had dinner in Flagstaff.
Richard remained unresponsive. He slept. But, he was having some convulsions or seizures. The medical staff put him on an IV drip to reduce the twitching. It was explained that the brain cancer lesions often burst and cause this to happen. They also said that Richard would not be able to receive further radiation treatment while he was having these seizures.
Donna, David, and Meghan left Flagstaff at about 4pm. They had a 9pm flight in Phoenix to return to Salt Lake City.
Ramsey was dropped off at the kennel Monday morning at 8am. Rick arrived at the Flagstaff Medical Center around 9:30am. He took a 6:15am flight from Austin to Phoenix. He was visibly shaken. Rick had seen his dad just three weeks ago --- at a Walters Family Reunion in Park City. While his dad was not feeling great, at least he was talkative, responsive, and fun to be around. Later, the Palliative Care staff came for a visit. It was recommended that Richard be released into hospice care as soon as possible. It was agreed. The Palliative Care staff began making inquiries as to where there was a male bed in an appropriate facility. All male beds were filled in Flagstaff. There is a large Navajo population in the area, Navajo belief is if someone dies in a hogan/home, there are bad spirits. And the hogan/home needs to be burned down. A bed was secured in a hospice in Prescott -- 90 minutes from Flagstaff and 60 minutes from our home in Williams. Arrangements were made to ambulance Richard there the next morning.
Five days in the hospital, and no solid food for two days, Richard was frail, unresponsive, and a shell of his former self. People say that hearing is the last sense to turn off when in Richard's state. So, Rick and I continued to talk to Richard. Richard's brother, Bob, flew into Flagstaff Regional Airport about 1pm. Becky picked him up at the airport. Logistically, Bob had a return flight at 4pm. That was the last flight from Flagstaff to Phoenix that would get Bob back to Los Angeles by the end of the day.
Bob and Rick had some "man time" with Richard. It was so great.
Rick took his uncle Bob back to Flagstaff Regional Airport around 3:30pm, and Rick returned to his dad's hospital room.
Pat and Bill Wheeler called me earlier in the day. They wanted to say goodbye to Richard. They hopped in their car at their Escapees home in Aguanda, California, and drove to Flagstaff. Pat and Bill arrived to the Flagstaff Medical Center around 5pm.
Becky's sisters, Wendy and Carrie, drove from Coto de Caza, California, to Becky's home in Williams. They arrived around 3pm. Both wanted to see Richard. So, the three hopped in Becky's truck. They arrived at the hospital. Becky and her three sisters were greeted by Pat and Bill.
Pat and Bill stayed another 30 minutes. Rick, Becky, Wendy, and Carrie remained in Richard's room. With the transfer of Richard in the morning, all of the monitors and IVs were removed from his body. He was only on morphine --- for his care and comfort. After about an hour, it was time to say good night to Richard --- see you in the morning. Becky, Wendy, and Carrie were walking back to Becky's car. Carrie said that we needed to return to Richard's room. The three of us knew that we had to go back and tell Richard that it is OK if he needs to leave us. Rick was called and he joined us. So, we entered Richard's room. Hello! The four of us talked to Richard. Becky started. In their own words. each said that he was loved, that he will be missed, but that they would be OK. We gave Richard permission to leave, or not.
The four of us said goodbye, rather than good night. When Becky was speaking to Richard, his right hand started to twitch. It was like he was signaling his understanding of what she was saying.
Becky, Rick, Wendy, and Carrie left Richard's room around 7pm. That night at Becky's home in Williams, Carrie shared something Richard told her. Becky's dad was bedridden for several years before he died. One time when Becky and Richard were visiting, Carrie noticed that Richard remained in the living room. Carrie asked why Richard wasn't in Bill's room. Richard said that he wanted to remember Becky's dad the way he was for so many years. He told Carrie that if he were ever in that condition --- like Becky's dad --- to just put a bag over his head and a pillow.
Becky's cell phone rang at 4am Tuesday morning. Rick was already at the bedroom door. The nurse told Becky that Richard died at 3:45am.
Becky, Carrie, Wendy and Rick got up and ready to go to the hospital. Rick headed out first in his rental car. You know it take girls longer!
Richard's hospital door had a special sign.
The face of death changes the look of everyone. Becky remembered when her father died in November, 2014. Richard look different. All of the facial lines were gone. He looked almost waxy.
The nurse gave Becky a piece of paper listing all the Mortuaries. Richard had wanted to be cremated. So, Becky started dialing for dollars. It was only 5:00am.
A local mortuary was selected. The gentleman was so quick. Carrie and Rick went back to Williams to care for the dogs. Wendy and Becky ran some errands and returned to the Norvel Owens Mortuary at 8:00am --- when the office opened. Arrangements were made.
The mortician said that Richard's ashes would be available by Friday. The death certificates would take longer.
That night, Bill and Pat Wheeler joined Becky, Wendy, Carrie, and Rick for a dinner at The Red Raven restaurant.
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